Life's a bagel indeed! What clever wordplay! But seriously, folks, what could be better in life than waking up with the fam on a Sunday morning during a cold, miserable winter of depression and anxiety and going out to get a sack of warm bagels. A rising tide, as they say, lifts all boats, and I, for one, am NOT going to disagree!
This is no joke, friends:
I once sniffed out a Maxie's pickle from a co-worker's paper lunch bag at a distance of no less than 25 feet. I knew where he got that pickle, and if he thought he was going to just slide it by me, well, then he was sorely mistaken.
I will admit: Some people will enjoy the Charlie Horse. I, however, was a sad child, unwilling to enjoy pumping quarters into a video game machine whilst I waited for an underwhelming, expensive hamburgler.
Alice's was, during days of yore, connected, as it were, to a small baseball card shop. The baseball card shop has gone to sadder pastures, but the Chinese food remains. Even open, I believe, on Christmas eve, for the local Jewish populace, or for a meeting with an old friend not seen in far too long before or since.
Many times, when I have not visited in a long time (too long, always), I return to Pizza Market and am comforted by the familiar faces. More than that though, I am comforted by the Chicken Parm Sub, which is da bomb.
Because it is so very good. Peek your head in around holiday time at the veritable mountain of the best thing a liquor store could ever offer: THE HOLIDAY GIFT PACK.
Well, for a long time I thought this was the best breakfast in town. I don't disagree with that now, but I think the best thing about this place is the coffee. I recommend splashing a bit of cinnamon in your hazelnut blend, and may you continue drinking until your heart explodes with the joy of being where you are!
I'm not sure I understand. Pizza, it seems to be, is an affair of the people, not of the elite. Why, then, with the grandiose styling of the pie? Nice delivery man though. Very nice.
It's crowded, but God knows that's what we want in a book store. I want to feel like a cow about to be slaughtered, pressed on all sides by high walls so that I feel touched and not so alone. Then I want to buy a nice copy of Gravity's Rainbow, which, hopefully, is in stock.
1. You order the burger over the phone.
2. The burger arrives, lugged by a nice deliveryman.
3. You notice how the bun is frustratingly soggy.
4. You bite, then, into the burger.
5. The burger soothes all of your worries.
6. The burger turns on the TV.
7. You watch basketball.